you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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