when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
