I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
