Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
