All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
