It's like God shit irony all over that family
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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