you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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