are you so shy because you have an std?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
