Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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