I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
