no, he came in my armpit
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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