the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
