I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
