cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
