And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
