She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well I just put wine in my tea
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