I'm so fucking centered right now
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
