I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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