Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
