I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
