i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
