So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
