You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
