i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
