Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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