Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
