she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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