Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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