You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
