Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
