I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
