sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
