i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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