I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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