the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
