Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
