He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
