U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
