No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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