I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
