would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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