Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
