There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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