i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
