The best revenge is premature balding
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
