she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
