not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
how do flat chested girls get laid?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
