im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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