Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
