I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
